Alan Alexander Miln. Winnie-The-Pooh and All, All, All
сторінка №2
...murmuring a murmur to himself. Likethis:
It's very, very funny,
'Cos I know I had some honey:
'Cos it had a label on,
Saying HUNNY,
A goloptious full-up pot too,
And I don't know where it's got to,
No, I don't know where it's gone --
Well, it's funny.
He had murmured this to himself three times in a
singing sort of way, when suddenly he remembered. He had put it
into the Cunning Trap to catch the Heffalump.
"Bother!" said Pooh. "It all comes of trying to be kind
to Heffalumps." And he got back into bed.
But he couldn't sleep. The more he tried to sleep, the
more he couldn't. He tried Counting Sheep, which is sometimes a
good way of getting to sleep, and, as that was no good, he
tried counting Heffalumps. And that was worse. Because every
Heffalump that he counted was making straight for a pot of
Pooh's honey, and eating it all. For some minutes he lay there
miserably, but when the five hundred and eighty-seventh
Heffalump was licking its jaws, and saying to itself, "Very
good honey this, I don't know when I've tasted better," Pooh
could bear it no longer. He jumped out of bed, he ran out of
the house, and he ran straight to the Six Pine Trees.
The Sun was still in bed, but there was a lightness in
the sky over the Hundred Acre Wood which seemed to show that it
was waking up and would soon be kicking off the clothes. In the
half-light the Pine Trees looked cold and lonely, and the Very
Deep Pit seemed deeper than it was, and Pooh's jar of honey at
the bottom was something mysterious, a shape and no more. But
as he got nearer lo it his nose told him that it was indeed
honey, and his tongue came out and began to polish up his
mouth, ready for it.
"Bother!" said Pooh, as he got his nose inside the jar.
"A Heffalump has been eating it!" And then he thought a little
and said, "Oh, no, I did. I forgot."
Indeed, he had eaten most of it. But there was a little
left at the very bottom of the jar, and he pushed his head
right in, and began to lick....
By and by Piglet woke up. As soon as he woke he said to
himself, "Oh!" Then he said bravely, "Yes," and then, still
more bravely, "Quite so." But he didn't feel very brave, for
the word which was really jiggeting about in his brain was
"Heffalumps."
What was a Heffalump like?
Was it Fierce?
Did it come when you whistled? And how did it come?
Was it Fond of Pigs at all?
If it was Fond of Pigs, did it make any difference what
sort of Pig?
Supposing it was Fierce with Pigs, would it make any
difference if the Pig had a grandfather called TRESPASSERS
WILLIAM?
He didn't know the answer to any of these questions . .
. and he was going to see his first Heffalump in about an hour
from now!
Of course Pooh would be with him, and it was much more
Friendly with two. But suppose Heffalumps were Very Fierce with
Pigs and Bears?
Wouldn't it be better to pretend that he had a
headache, and couldn't go up to the Six Pine Trees this
morning? But then suppose that it was a very fine day, and
there was no Heffalump in the trap, here he would be, in bed
all the morning, simply wasting his time for nothing. What
should he do?
And then he had a Clever Idea. He would go up very
quietly to the Six Pine Trees now, peep very cautiously into
the Trap, and see if there was a Heffalump there. And if there
was, he would go back to bed, and if there wasn't, he wouldn't.
So off he went. At first he thought that there wouldn't
be a Heffalump in the Trap, and then he thought that there
would, and as he got nearer he was sure that there would,
because he could hear it heffalumping about it like anything.
"Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!" said Piglet to himself.
And he wanted to run away. But somehow, having got so near, he
felt that he must just see what a Heffalump was like. So he
crept to the side of the Trap and looked in.
And all the time Winnie-the-Pooh had been trying to get
the honey-jar off his head. The more he shook it, the more
tightly it stuck. "Bother!" he said, inside the jar, and "Oh,
help!" and, mostly, "Ow!" And he tried bumping it against
things, but as he couldn't see what he was bumping it against,
it didn't help him; and he tried to climb out of the Trap, but
as he could see nothing but jar, and not much of that, he
couldn't find his way. So at last he lifted up his head, jar
and all, and made a loud, roaring noise of Sadness and Despair
. . . and it was at that moment that Piglet looked down.
"Help, help!" cried Piglet, "a Heffalump, a Horrible
Heffalump!" and he scampered off as hard as he could, still
crying out, "Help, help, a Herrible Hoffalump! Hoff, Hoff, a
Hellible Horralump! Holl, Holl, a Hoffable Hellerump!" And he
didn't stop crying and scampering until he got to Christopher
Robin's house.
"Whatever's the matter, Piglet?" said Christopher
Robin, who was just getting up.
"Heff," said Piglet, breathing so hard that he could
hardly speak, "a Heff — a Heff — a Heffalump."
"Where?"
"Up there," said Piglet, waving his paw.
"What did it look like?"
"Like — like — It had the biggest head you ever saw,
Christopher Robin. A great enormous thing, like — like
nothing. A huge big — well, like a — I don't know — like an
enormous big nothing. Like a jar."
"Well," said Christopher Robin, putting on his shoes,
"I shall go and look at it. Come on."
Piglet wasn't afraid if he had Christopher Robin with
him, so off they went....
"I can hear it, can't you?" said Piglet anxiously, as
they got near.
"I can hear something," said Christopher Robin.
It was Pooh bumping his head against a tree-root he had
found.
"There!" said Piglet. "Isn't it awful?" And he held on
tight to Christopher Robin's hand.
Suddenly Christopher Robin began to laugh . . . and he
laughed . . and he laughed . . . and he laughed. And while he
was still laughing — Crash went the Heffalump's head against
the tree-root, Smash went the jar, and out came Pooh's head
again....
Then Piglet saw what a Foolish Piglet he had been, and
he was so ashamed of himself that he ran straight off home and
went to bed with a headache. But Christopher Robin and Pooh
went home to breakfast together.
"Oh, Bear!" said Christopher Robin. "How I do love
you!"
"So do I," said Pooh.
Chapter 6 ...in which Eeyore has a birthday and
gets two presents
EEYORE, the old grey Donkey, stood by the side of the
stream, and looked at himself in the water.
"Pathetic," he said. s' That's what it is. Pathetic."
He turned and walked slowly down the stream for twenty
yards, splashed across it, and walked slowly back on the other
side. Then he looked at himself in the water again.
"As I thought," he said. "No better from this side. But
nobody minds. Nobody cares. Pathetic, that's what it is."
There was a crackling noise in the bracken behind him,
and out came Pooh.
"Good morning, Eeyore," said Pooh.
"Good morning, Pooh Bear," said Eeyore gloomily. "If it
is a good morning," he said. "Which I doubt," said he.
"Why, what's the matter?"
"Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can't all, and some of
us don't. That's all there is to it."
"Can't all what?" said Pooh, rubbing his nose.
"Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry
bush."
"Oh!" said Pooh. He thought for a long time, and then
asked, "What mulberry bush is that?"
"Bon-hommy," went on Eeyore gloomily. "French word
meaning bonhommy," he explained. "I'm not complaining, but
There It Is."
Pooh sat down on a large stone, and tried to think this
out. It sounded to him like a riddle, and he was never much
good at riddles, being a Bear of Very Little Brain. So he sang
Cottleston Pie instead:
Cottleslon, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie.
A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly.
Ask me a riddle and I reply:
"Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie."
That was the first verse. When he had finished it,
Eeyore didn't actually say that he didn't like it, so Pooh very
kindly sang the second verse to him:
Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie,
A fish can't whistle and neither can I.
Ask me a riddle and I reply:
"Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie."
Eeyore still said nothing at all, so Pooh hummed the
third verse quietly to himself:
Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie,
Why does a chicken, I don't know why.
Ask me a riddle and I reply:
"Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie."
"That's right," said Eeyore. "Sing. Umty-tiddly,
umty-too. Here we go gathering Nuts and May. Enjoy yourself."
"I am," said Pooh.
"Some can," said Eeyore.
"Why, what's the matter?"
"Is anything the matter?"
"You seem so sad, Eeyore."
"Sad? Why should I be sad? It's my birthday. The
happiest day of the year."
"Your birthday?" said Pooh in great surprise.
"Of course it is. Can't you see? Look at all the
presents I have had." He waved a foot from side to side. "Look
at the birthday cake. Candles and pink sugar."
Pooh looked — first to the right and then to the left.
"Presents?" said Pooh. "Birthday cake?" said Pooh.
"Where?"
"Can't you see them?"
"No," said Pooh.
"Neither can I," said Eeyore. "Joke," he explained. "Ha
ha!"
Pooh scratched his head, being a little puzzled by all
this.
"But is it really your birthday?" he asked.
"It is."
"Oh! Well, Many happy returns of the day, Eeyore."
"And many happy returns to you, Pooh Bear."
"But it isn't my birthday."
"No, it's mine."
"But you said 'Many happy returns' — "
"Well, why not? You don't always want to be miserable
on my birthday, do you?"
"Oh, I see," said Pooh.
"It's bad enough." said Eeyore. almost breaking down
"being miserable myself, what with no presents and no cake and
no candles, and no proper notice taken of me at all, but if
everybody else is going to be miserable too — "
This was too much for Pooh. "Stay there!" he called to
Eeyore, as he turned and hurried back home as quick as he
could; for he felt that he must get poor Eeyore a present of
some sort at once, and he could always think of a proper one
afterwards.
Outside his house he found Piglet, jumping up and down
trying to reach the knocker.
"Hallo, Piglet," he said.
"Hallo, Pooh," said Piglet.
"What are you trying to do?"
"I was trying to reach the knocker," said Piglet. "I
just came round — "
"Let me do it for you," said Pooh kindly. So he reached
up and knocked at the door. "I have just seen Eeyore is in a
Very Sad Condition, because it's his birthday, and nobody has
taken any notice of it, and he's very Gloomy — you know what
Eeyore is — and there he was, and -What a long time whoever
lives here is answering this door." And he knocked again.
"But Pooh," said Piglet, "it's your own house!"
"Oh!" said Pooh. "So it is," he said. "Well, let's go
in."
So in they went. The first thing Pooh did was to go to
the cupboard to see if he had quite a small jar of honey left;
and he had, so he took it down.
"I'm giving this to Eeyore," he explained, "as a
present. What are you going to give?"
"Couldn't I give it too?" said Piglet. "From both of
us?"
"No," said Pooh. "That would not be a good plan."
"All right, then, I'll give him a balloon. I've got one
left from my party. I'll go and get it now, shall I?"
"That, Piglet, is a very good idea. It is just what
Eeyore wants to cheer him up. Nobody can be uncheered with a
balloon."
So off Piglet trotted; and in the other direction went
Pooh, with his jar of honey.
It was a warm day, and he had a long way to go. He
hadn't gone more than half-way when a sort of funny feeling
began to creep all over him. It began at the tip of his nose
and trickled all through him and out at the soles of his feet.
It was just as if somebody inside him were saying, "Now then,
Pooh, time for a little something."
"Dear, dear," said Pooh, "I didn't know it was as late
as that." So he sat down and took the top off his jar of honey.
"Lucky I brought this with me," he thought. "Many a bear going
out on a warm day like this would never have thought of
bringing a little something with him." And he began to eat.
"Now let me see," he thought! as he took his last lick
of the inside of the jar, "Where was I going? Ah, yes, Eeyore."
He got up slowly.
And then, suddenly, he remembered. He had eaten
Eeyore's birthday present!
"Bother!" said Pooh. "What shall I do? I must give him
something."
For a little while he couldn't think of anything. Then
he thought: "Well, it's a very nice pot, even if there's no
honey in it, and if I washed it clean, and got somebody to
write 'A Happy Birthday' on it, Eeyore could keep things in it,
which might be Useful." So, as he was just passing the Hundred
Acre Wood, he went inside to call on Owl, who lived there.
"Good morning, Owl," he said.
"Good morning, Pooh," said Owl.
"Many happy returns of Eeyore's birthday," said Pooh.
"Oh, is that what it is?"
"What are you giving him, Owl?"
"What are you giving him, Pooh?"
"I'm giving him a Useful Pot to Keep Things In, and I
wanted to ask you "
"Is this it?" said Owl, taking it out of Pooh's paw.
"Yes, and I wanted to ask you — "
"Somebody has been keeping honey in it," said Owl.
"You can keep anything in it," said Pooh earnestly.
"It's Very Useful like that. And I wanted to ask you — "
"You ought to write 'A Happy Birthday' on it."
"That was what I wanted to ask you," said Pooh.
"Because my spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it
Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. Would you
write 'A Happy Birthday' on it for me?"
"It's a nice pot," said Owl, looking at it all round.
"Couldn't I give it too? From both of us?"
"No," said Pooh. "That would not be a good plan. Now
I'll just wash it first, and then you can write on it."
Well, he washed the pot out, and dried it, while Owl
licked the end of his pencil, and wondered how to spell
"birthday."
"Can you read, Pooh?" he asked a little anxiously.
"There's a notice about knocking and ringing outside my door,
which Christopher Robin wrote. Could you read it?"
"Christopher Robin told me what it said, and then I
could."
"Well, I'll tell you what this says, and then you'll be
able to."
So Owl wrote . . . and this is what he wrote:
HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA
BTHUTHDY.
Pooh looked on admiringly.
"I'm just saying 'A Happy Birthday'," said Owl
carelessly.
"It's a nice long one," said Pooh, very much impressed
by it.
"Well, actually, of course, I'm saying 'A Very Happy
Birthday with love from Pooh.' Naturally it takes a good deal
of pencil to say a long thing like that."
"Oh, I see," said Pooh.
While all this was happening, Piglet had gone back to
his own house to get Eeyore's balloon. He held it very tightly
against himself, so that it shouldn't blow away, and he ran as
fast as he could so as to get to Eeyore before Pooh did; for he
thought that he would like to be the first one to give a
present, just as if he had thought of it without being told by
anybody. And running along, and thinking how pleased Eeyore
would be, he didn't look where he was going . . . and suddenly
he put his foot in a rabbit hole, and fell down flat on his
face.
BANG!!!???***!!!
Piglet lay there, wondering what had happened. At first
he thought that the whole world had blown up; and then he
thought that perhaps only the Forest part of it had; and then
he thought that perhaps only he had, and he was now alone in
the moon or somewhere, and would never see Christopher Robin or
Pooh or Eeyore again. And then he thought, "Well, even if I'm
in the moon, I needn't be face downwards all the time," so he
got cautiously up and looked about him.
He was still in the Forest!
"Well, that's funny," he thought. "I wonder what that
bang was. I couldn't have made such a noise just falling down.
And where's my balloon? And what's that small piece of damp rag
doing?"
It was the balloon!
"Oh, dear!" said Piglet. "Oh, dear, oh, dearie, dearie,
dear! Well, it's too late now. I can't go back, and I haven't
another balloon, and perhaps Eeyore doesn't like balloons so
very much."
So he trotted on, rather sadly now, and down he came to
the side of the stream where Eeyore was, and called out to him.
"Good morning, Eeyore," shouted Piglet.
"Good morning, Little Piglet," said Eeyore. "If it is a
good morning," he said. "Which I doubt," said he. "Not that it
matters," he said.
"Many happy returns of the day," said Piglet, having
now got closer.
Eeyore stopped looking at himself in the stream, and
turned to stare at Piglet.
"Just say that again," he said.
"Many hap — "
"Wait a moment."
Balancing on three legs, he began to bring his fourth
leg very cautiously up to his ear. "I did this yesterday," he
explained, as he fell down for the third time. "It's quite
easy. It's so as I can hear better. ... There, that's done it!
Now then, what were you saying?" He pushed his ear forward with
his hoof.
"Many happy returns of the day," said Piglet again.
"Meaning me?"
"Of course, Eeyore."
"My birthday?"
"Yes."
"Me having a real birthday?"
"Yes, Eeyore, and I've brought you a present."
Eeyore took down his right hoof from his right ear,
turned round, and with great difficulty put up his left hoof.
"I must have that in the other ear," he said. "Now
then."
"A present," said Piglet very loudly.
"Meaning me again?"
"Yes."
"My birthday still?"
"Of course, Eeyore."
"Me going on having a real birthday?"
"Yes, Eeyore, and I brought you a balloon."
"Balloon?" said Eeyore. "You did say balloon? One of
those big coloured things you blow up? Gaiety, song-and-dance,
here we are and there we are?"
"Yes, but I'm afraid — I'm very sorry, Eeyore — but
when I was running along to bring it you, I fell down."
"Dear, dear, how unlucky! You ran too fast, I expect.
You didn't hurt yourself, Little Piglet?"
"No, but I — I — oh, Eeyore, I burst the balloon!"
There was a very long silence.
"My balloon?" said Eeyore at last.
Piglet nodded.
"My birthday balloon?"
"Yes, Eeyore," said Piglet sniffing a little. "Here it
is. With — with many happy returns of the day." And he gave
Eeyore the small piece of damp rag.
"Is this it?" said Eeyore, a little surprised.
Piglet nodded.
"My present?"
Piglet nodded again.
"The balloon?"
"Yes."
"Thank you, Piglet," said Eeyore. "You don't mind my
asking," he went on, "but what colour was this balloon when it
— when it was a balloon?"
"Red."
"I just wondered. ... Red," he murmured to himself. "My
favourite colour. ... How big was it?"
"About as big as me."
"I just wondered. ... About as big as Piglet," he said
to himself sadly. "My favourite size. Well, well."
Piglet felt very miserable, and didn't know what to
say. He was still opening his mouth to begin something, and
then deciding that it wasn't any good saying that, when he
heard a shout from the other side of the river, and there was
Pooh.
"Many happy returns of the day," called out Pooh,
forgetting that he had said it already.
"Thank you, Pooh, I'm having them," said Eeyore
gloomily.
"I've brought you a little present," said Pooh
excitedly.
"I've had it," said Eeyore.
Pooh had now splashed across the stream to Eeyore, and
Piglet was sitting a little way off, his head in his paws,
snuffling to himself.
"It's a Useful Pot," said Pooh. "Here it is. And it's
got 'A Very Happy Birthday with love from Pooh' written on it.
That's what all that writing is. And it's for putting things
in. There!"
When Eeyore saw the pot, he became quite excited.
"Why!" he said. "I believe my Balloon will just go into
that Pot!"
"Oh, no, Eeyore," said Pooh. "Balloons are much too big
to go into Pots. What you do with a balloon is, you hold the
balloon "
"Not mine," said Eeyore proudly. "Look, Piglet!" And as
Piglet looked sorrowfully round, Eeyore picked the balloon up
with his teeth, and placed it carefully in the pot; picked it
out and put it on the ground; and then picked it up again and
put it carefully back.
"So it does!" said Pooh. "It goes in!"
"So it does!" said Piglet. "And it comes out!"
"Doesn't it?" said Eeyore. "It goes in and out like
anything."
"I'm very glad," said Pooh happily, "that I thought of
giving you a Useful Pot to put things in."
"I'm very glad," said Piglet happily, "that thought of
giving you something to put in a Useful Pot."
But Eeyore wasn't listening. He was taking the balloon
out, and putting it back again, as happy as could be....
"And didn't I give him anything?" asked Christopher
Robin sadly.
"Of course you did," I said. "You gave him don't you
remember — a little — a little "
"I gave him a box of paints to paint things with."
"That was it."
"Why didn't I give it to him in the morning?"
"You were so busy getting his party ready for him. He
had a cake with icing on the top, and three candles, and his
name in pink sugar? and "
"Yes, I remember," said Christopher Robin?
Chapter 7 ...in which Kanga and Baby Roo come
to the forest, and piglet has a bath
NOBODY seemed to know where they came from, but there
they were in the Forest: Kanga and Baby Roo. When Pooh asked
Christopher Robin,
"How did they come here?" Christopher Robin said, "In
the Usual Way, if you know what I mean, Pooh," and Pooh, who
didn't, said "Oh!" Then he nodded his head twice and said, "In
the Usual Way. Ah!" Then he went to call upon his friend Piglet
to see what he thought about it. And at Piglet's house he found
Rabbit. So they all talked about it together.
"What I don't like about it is this," said Rabbit.
"Here are we — you, Pooh, and you, Piglet, and Me --
and suddenly "
"And Eeyore," said Pooh.
"And Eeyore — and then suddenly — "
"And Owl," said Pooh
"And Owl — and then all of a sudden — "
"Oh, and Eeyore," said Pooh. "I was forgetting him."
"Here — we — are," said Rabbit very slowly and
carefully, all — or — us, and then, suddenly, we wake up one
morning, and what do we find? We find a Strange Animal among
us. An animal of whom we had never even heard before! An animal
who carries her family about with her in her pocket! Suppose I
carried my family about with me in my pocket, how many pockets
should I want?"
"Sixteen," said Piglet.
"Seventeen, isn't it?" said Rabbit. "And one more for a
handkerchief — that's eighteen. Eighteen pockets in one suit!
I haven't time."
There was a long and thoughtful silence? . . and then
Pooh, who had been frowning very hard for some minutes, said:
"I make it fifteen."
"What?" said Rabbit.
"Fifteen."
"Fifteen what?"
"Your family."
"What about them?"
Pooh rubbed his nose and said that he thought Rabbit
had been talking about his family.
"Did I?" said Rabbit carelessly.
"Yes, you said — "
"Never mind, Pooh," said Piglet impatiently. "The
question is, What are we to do about Kanga?"
"Oh, I see," said Pooh.
"The best way," said Rabbit, "would be this. The best
way would be to steal Baby Roo and hide him, and then when
Kanga says, 'Where's Baby Roo?' we say, 'Aha!'"
"Aha!" said Pooh, practising. "Aha! Aha! . . . Of
course," he went on, "we could say 'Aha!' even if we hadn't
stolen Baby Roo."
"Pooh," said Rabbit kindly, "you haven't any brain."
"I know," said Pooh humbly.
"We say 'Aha!' so that Kanga knows that we know where
Baby Roo is. 'Aha!' means 'We'll tell you where Baby Roo is, if
you promise to go away from the Forest and never come back.'
Now don't talk while I think."
Pooh went into a corner and tried saying 'Aha!' in that
sort of voice. Sometimes it seemed to him that it did mean what
Rabbit said, and sometimes it seemed to him that it didn't. "I
suppose it's just practice," he thought. "I wonder if Kanga
will have to practise too so as to understand it."
"There's just one thing," said Piglet, fidgeting a bit.
"I was talking to Christopher Robin, and he said that a Kanga
was Generally Regarded as One of the Fiercer Animals I am not
frightened of Fierce Animals in the ordinary way, but it is
well known that if One of the Fiercer Animals is Deprived of
Its Young, it becomes as fierce as Two of the Fiercer Animals.
In which case 'Aha!' is perhaps a foolish thing to say."
"Piglet," said Rabbit, taking out a pencil, and licking
the end of it, "you haven't any pluck."
"It is hard to be brave," said Piglet, sniffing
slightly, "when you're only a Very Small Animal."
Rabbit, who had begun to write very busily, looked up
and said:
"It is because you are a very small animal that you
will be Useful in the adventure before us."
Piglet was so excited at the idea of being Useful that
he forgot to be frightened any more, and when Rabbit went on to
say that Kangas were only Fierce during the winter months,
being at other times of an Affectionate Disposition, he could
hardly sit still, he was so eager to begin being useful at
once.
"What about me?" said Pooh sadly "I suppose I shan't be
useful?"
"Never mind, Pooh," said Piglet comfortingly. "Another
time perhaps "
"Without Pooh," said Rabbit solemnly as he sharpened
his pencil, "the adventure would be impossible."
"Oh!" said Piglet, and tried not to look disappointed.
But Pooh went into a corner of the room and said proudly to
himself, "Impossible without Me! That sort of Bear."
"Now listen all of you," said Rabbit when he had
finished writing, and Pooh and Piglet sat listening very
eagerly with their mouths open. This was what Rabbit read out:
PLAN TO CAPTURE BABY ROO
1. General Remarks. Kanga runs faster than any of Us,
even Me.
2. More General Remarks. Kanga never takes her eye off
Baby Roo, except when he's safely buttoned up in her pocket.
3. Therefore. If we are to capture Baby Roo, we must
get a Long Start, because Kanga runs faster than any of Us,
even Me. (See I.)
4. A Thought. If Roo had jumped out of Kanga's pocket
and Piglet had jumped in, Kanga wouldn't know the difference,
because Piglet is a Very Small Animal.
5. Like Roo.
6. But Kanga would have to be looking the other way
first, so as not to see Piglet jumping in.
7. See 2.
8. Another Thought. But if Pooh was talking to her very
excitedly, she might look the other way for a moment.
9. And then I could run away with Roo.
10. Quickly.
11. And Kanga wouldn't discover the difference until
Afterwards
Well, Rabbit read this out proudly, and for a little
while after he had read it nobody said anything And then
Piglet, who had been opening and shutting his mouth without
making any noise, managed to say very huskily:
"And — Afterwards?"
"How do you mean?"
"When Kanga does Discover the Difference?"
"Then we all say 'Aha!'"
"All three of us?"
"Yes."
"Oh!"
"Why, what's the trouble, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, "as long as we all three say
it. As long as we all three say it," said Piglet, "I don't
mind," he said, "but I shouldn't care to say 'Aha!' by myself.
It wouldn't sound nearly so well. By the way," he said, "you
are quite sure about what you said about the winter months?"
"The winter months?"
"Yes, only being Fierce in the Winter Months."
"Oh, yes, yes, that's all right. Well, Pooh You see
what you have to do?"
"No," said Pooh Bear. "Not yet," he said? "What do I
do?"
"Well, you just have to talk very hard to Kanga? so as
she doesn't notice anything."
"Oh! What about?"
"Anything you like."
"You mean like telling her a little bit of poetry or
something?"
"That's it," said Rabbit. "Splendid Now come along."
So they all went out to look for Kanga.
Kanga and Roo were spending a quiet afternoon in a
sandy part of the Forest. Baby Roo was practising very small
jumps in the sand, and falling down mouse-holes and climbing
out of them, and Kanga was fidgeting about and saying "Just one
more jump, dear, and then we must go home." And at that moment
who should come stumping up the hill but Pooh.
"Good afternoon, Kanga."
"Good afternoon, Pooh."
"Look at me jumping," squeaked Roo, and fell into
another mouse-hole.
"Hallo, Roo, my little fellow!"
"We were just going home," said Kanga. "Good afternoon,
Rabbit. Good afternoon, Piglet."
Rabbit and Piglet, who had now come up from the other
side of the hill, said "Good afternoon," and "Hallo, Roo," and
Roo asked them to look at him jumping, so they stayed and
looked.
And Kanga looked too....
"Oh, Kanga," said Pooh, after Rabbit had winked at him
twice, "I don't know if you are interested in Poetry at all?"
"Hardly at all," said Kanga.
"Oh!" said Pooh.
"Roo, dear, just one more jump and then we must go
home."
There was a short silence while Roo fell down another
mouse-hole.
"Go on," said Rabbit in a loud whisper behind his paw.
"Talking of Poetry," said Pooh, "I made up a little
piece as I was coming along. It went like this. Er — now let
me see — "
"Fancy!" said Kanga. "Now Roo, dear — "
"You'll like this piece of poetry," said Rabbit.
"You'll love it," said Piglet.
"You must listen very carefully," said Rabbit.
"So as not to miss any of it," said Piglet.
"Oh, yes," said Kanga, but she still looked at Baby
Roo.
"How did it go, Pooh?" said Rabbit.
Pooh gave a little cough and began.
LINES WRITTEN BY A BEAR OF VERY LITTLE BRAIN
On Monday, when the sun is hot
I wonder to myself a lot:
"Now is it true, or is it not,"
"That what is which and which is what?"
On Tuesday, when it hails and snows,
The feeling on me grows and grows
That hardly anybody knows
If those are these or these are those.
On Wednesday, when the sky is blue,
And I have nothing else to do,
I sometimes wonder if it's true
That who is what and what is who.
On Thursday, when it starts to freeze
And hoar-frost twinkles on the trees,
How very readily one sees
That these are whose — but whose are these?
On Friday --
"Yes, it is, isn't it?" said Kanga, not waiting to hear
what happened on Friday. "Just one more jump, Roo, dear, and
then we really must be going."
Rabbit gave Pooh a hurrying-up sort of nudge.
"Talking of Poetry," said Pooh quickly "have you ever
noticed that tree right over there?"
"Where?" said Kanga. "Now, Roo — " "Right over there,"
said Pooh, pointing behind Kanga's back.
"No," said Kanga. "Now jump in, Roo, dear, and we'll go
home."
"You ought to look at that tree right over there," said
Rabbit. "Shall I lift you in, Roo?" And he picked up Roo in his
paws.
"I can see a bird in it from here," said Pooh. "Or is
it a fish?"
"You ought to see that bird from here," said Rabbit.
"Unless it's a fish."
"It isn't a fish, it's a bird," said Piglet.
"So it is," said Rabbit.
"Is it a starling or a blackbird?" said Pooh.
"That's the whole question," said Rabbit. "Is it a
blackbird or a starling?"
And then at last Kanga did turn her head to look. And
the moment that her head was turned, Rabbit said in a loud
voice "In you go, Roo!" and in jumped Piglet into Kanga's
pocket, and off scampered Rabbit, with Roo in his paws, as fast
as he could.
"Why, where's Rabbit?" said Kanga, turning round again.
"Are you all right, Roo, dear?"
Piglet made a squeaky Roo-noise from the bottom of
Kanga's pocket.
"Rabbit had to go away," said Pooh. "I think he thought
of something he had to do and see about suddenly."
"And Piglet?"
"I think Piglet thought of something at the same time.
Suddenly."
"Well, we must be getting home," said Kanga. "Good-bye,
Pooh." And in three large jumps she was gone.
Pooh looked after her as she went.
"I wish I could jump like that," he thought. "Some can
and some can't. That's how it is."
But there were moments when Piglet wished that Kanga
couldn't. Often, when he had had a long walk home through the
Forest, he had wished that he were a bird; but now he thought
jerkily to himself at the bottom of Kanga's pocket,
this
take
"If is shall
really to
flying I never
it."
And as he went up in the air he said, "Ooooooo!" and as
he came down he said, "Ow!" And he was saying, "Ooooooo-ow,
ooooooo-ow, ooooooo-ow" all the way to Kanga's house.
Of course as soon as Kanga unbuttoned her pocket, she
saw what had happened. Just for a moment, she thought she was
frightened, and then she knew she wasn't: for she felt quite
sure that Christopher Robin could never let any harm happen to
Roo. So she said to herself, "If they are having a joke with
me, I will have a joke with them."
"Now then, Roo, dear," she said, as she took Piglet out
of her pocket. "Bed-time."
"Aha!" said Piglet, as well as he could after his
Terrifying Journey. But it wasn't a very good "Aha!" and Kanga
didn't seem to understand what it meant.
"Bath first," said Kanga in a cheerful voice.
"Aha!" said Piglet again, looking round anxiously for
the others. But the others weren't there. Rabbit was playing
with Baby Roo in his own house, and feeling more fond of him
every minute, and Pooh, who had decided to be a Kanga, was
still at the sandy place on the top of the Forest, practising
jumps.
"I am not at all sure," said Kanga in a thoughtful
voice, "that it wouldn't be a good idea to have a cold bath
this evening. Would you like that, Roo, dear?"
Piglet, who had never been really fond of baths,
shuddered a long indignant shudder, and said in as brave a
voice as he could:
"Kanga, I see that the time has come to speak plainly."
"Funny little Roo," said Kanga, as she got the
bath-water ready.
"I am not Roo," said Piglet loudly. "I am Piglet!"
"Yes, dear, yes," said Kanga soothingly. "And imitating
Piglet's voice too! So clever of him," she went on, as she took
a large bar of yellow soap out of the cupboard. "What will he
be doing next"
"Can't you see?" shouted Piglet "Haven't you got eyes?
Look at me!"
"I am looking, Roo, dear," said Kanga rather severely.
"And you know what I told you yesterday about making faces. If
you go on making faces like Piglet's, you will grow up to look
like Piglet — and then think how sorry you will be. Now then,
into the bath, and don't let me have to speak to you about it
again."
Before he knew where he was, Piglet was in the bath,
and Kanga was scrubbing him firmly with a large lathery
flannel.
"Ow!" cried Piglet. "Let me out! I'm Piglet!"
"Don't open the mouth, dear, or the soap goes in," said
Kanga. "There! What did I tell you?"
"You — you — you did it on purpose," spluttered
Piglet, as soon as he could speak again . . . and then
accidentally had another mouthful of lathery flannel.
"That's right, dear, don't say anything," said Kanga,
and in another minute Piglet was out of the bath, and being
rubbed dry with a towel.
"Now," said Kanga, "there's your medicine, and then
bed."
"W-w-what medicine?" said Piglet.
"To make you grow big and strong, dear. You don't want
to grow up small and weak like Piglet, do you? Well, then!"
At that moment there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," said Kanga, and in came Christopher Robin.
"Christopher Robin, Christopher Robin!" cried Piglet.
"Tell Kanga who I am! She keeps saying I'm Roo. I'm not Roo, am
I?"
Christopher Robin looked at him very carefully, and
shook his head.
"You can't be Roo," he said, "because I've just seen
Roo playing in Rabbit's house."
"Well!" said Kanga. "Fancy that! Fancy my making a
mistake like that."
"There you are!" said Piglet. "I told you so. I'm
Piglet."
Christopher Robin shook his head again.
"Oh, you're not Piglet," he said. "I know Piglet well,
and he's quite a different colour."
Piglet began to say that this was because he had just
had a bath, and then he thought that perhaps he wouldn't say
that, and as he opened his mouth to say something else, Kanga
slipped the medicine spoon in, and then patted him on the back
and told him that it was really quite a nice taste when you got
used to it.
"I knew it wasn't Piglet," said Kanga. "I wonder who it
can be."
"Perhaps it's some relation of Pooh's," said
Christopher Robin. "What about a nephew or an uncle or
something?"
Kanga agreed that this was probably what it was, and
said that they would have to call it by some name.
"I shall call it Pootel," said Christopher Robin.
"Henry Pootel for short."
And just when it was decided, Henry Pootel wriggled out
of Kanga's arms and jumped to the ground. To his great joy
Christopher Robin had left the door open. Never had Henry
Pootel Piglet run so fast as he ran then, and he didn't stop
running until he had got quite close to his house. But when he
was a hundred yards away he stopped running, and rolled the
rest of the way home, so as to get his own nice comfortable
colour again.
So Kanga and Roo stayed in the Forest. And every
Tuesday Roo spent the day with his great friend Rabbit, and
every Tuesday Kanga spent the day with her great friend Pooh,
teaching him to jump, and every Tuesday Piglet spent the day
with his great friend Christopher Robin. So they were all happy
again.
Chapter 8 ...in which Christopher Robin leads
an expotition to the north pole
ONE fine day Pooh had stumped up to the top of the
Forest to see if his friend Christopher Robin was interested in
Bears at all. At breakfast that morning (a simple meal of
marmalade spread lightly over a honeycomb or two) he had
suddenly thought of a new song. It began like this:
"Sing Ho! For the life of a Bear."
When he had got as far as this, he scratched his head,
and thought to himself "That's a very good start for a song,
but what about the second line?" He tried singing "Ho," two or
three times, but it didn't seem to help. "Perhaps it would be
better," he thought, "if I sang Hi for the life of a Bear." So
he sang it . . . but it wasn't. "Very well, then," he said, "I
shall sing that first line twice, and perhaps if I sing it very
quickly, I shall find myself singing the third and fourth lines
before I have time to think of them, and that will be a Good
Song. Now then:"
Sing Ho! for the life of a Bear!
Sing Ho! for the life of a Bear!
I don't much mind if it rains or snows,
'Cos I've got a lot of honey on my nice new nose!
I don't much care if it snows or thaws,
'Cos I've got a lot of honey on my nice clean paws!
Sing Ho! for a Bear!
Sing Ho! for a Pooh!
And I'll have a little something in an hour or two!
He was so pleased with this song that he sang it all
the way to the top of the Forest, "and if I go on singing it
much longer," he thought, "it will be time for the little
something, and then the last line won't be true." So he turned
it into a hum instead.
Christopher Robin was sitting outside his door, putting
on his Big Boots. As soon as he saw the Big Boots, Pooh knew
that an Adventure was going to happen, and he brushed the honey
off his nose with the back of his paw, and spruced himself up
as well as he could, so as to look Ready for Anything.
"Good morning, Christopher Robin," he called out.
"Hallo, Pooh Bear. I can't get this boot on."
"That's bad," said Pooh.
"Do you think you could very kindly lean against me,
'cos I keep pulling so hard that I fall over backwards."
Pooh sat down, dug his feet into the ground, and pushed
hard against Christopher Robin's back, and Christopher Robin
pushed hard against his, and pulled and pulled at his boot
until he had got it on.
"And that's that," said Pooh. "What do we do next?"
"We are all going on an Expedition," said Christopher
Robin, as he got up and brushed himself. "Thank you, Pooh."
"Going on an Expotition?" said Pooh eagerly. "I don't
think I've ever been on one of those. Where are we going to on
this Expotition?"
"Expedition, silly old Bear. It's got an 'x' in it."
"Oh!" said Pooh. "I know." But he didn't really.
"We're going to discover the North Pole."
"Oh!" said Pooh again. "What is the North Pole?" he
asked.
"It's just a thing you discover," said Christopher
Robin carelessly, not being quite sure himself.
"Oh! I see," said Pooh. "Are bears any good at
discovering it?"
"Of course they are. And Rabbit and Kanga and all of
you. It's an Expedition. That's what an Expedition means. A
long line of everybody. You'd better tell the others to get
ready, while I see if my gun's all right. And we must all bring
Provisions."
"Bring what?"
"Things to eat."
"Oh!" said Pooh happily. "I thought you said
Provisions. I'll go and tell them." And he stumped off.
The first person he met was Rabbit.
"Hallo, Rabbit," he said, "is that you?"
"Let's pretend it isn't," said Rabbit, "and see what
happens."
"I've got a message for you."
"I'll give it to him."
"We're all going on an. Expotition with Christopher
Robin!"
"What is it when we're on it?"
"A sort of boat, I think," said Pooh.
"Oh! that sort."
"Yes. And we're going to discover a Pole or something.
Or was it a Mole? Anyhow we're going to discover it."
"We are, are we?" said Rabbit.
"Yes. And we've got to bring Pro-things to eat with us.
In case we want to eat them. Now I'm going down to Piglet's.
Tell Kanga, will you?"
He left Rabbit and hurried down to Piglet's house.
The Piglet was sitting on the ground at the door of his
house blowing happily at a dandelion, and wondering whether it
would be this year, next year, some time or never. He had just
discovered that it would be never, and was trying to remember
what "it" was, and hoping it wasn't anything nice, when Pooh
came up.
"Oh! Piglet," said Pooh excitedly, we're going on an
Expotition, all of us, with things to eat. To discover
something."
"To discover what?" said Piglet anxiously.
"Oh! just something."
"Nothing fierce?"
"Christopher Robin didn't say anything about fierce. He
just said it had an 'x'."
"It isn't their necks I mind," said Piglet earnestly.
"It's their teeth. But if Christopher Robin is coming I don't
mind anything."
In a little while they were all ready at the top of the
Forest, and the Expotition started. First came Christopher
Robin and Rabbit, then Piglet and Pooh; ther Kanga, with Roo in
her pocket, and Owl; then Eeyore; and, at the end, in a long
line, all Rabbit's friends-and-relations.
"I didn't ask them," explained Rabbit carelessly. "They
just came. They always do. They can march at the end, after
Eeyore."
"What I say," said Eeyore, "is that it's unsettling. I
didn't want to come on this Expo — what Pooh said. I only came
to oblige. But here I am; and if I am the end of the Expo --
what we're talking about — then let me be the end. But if,
every time I want to sit down for a little rest, I have to
brush away half a dozen of Rabbit's smaller
friends-and-relations first, then this isn't an Expo --
whatever it is — at all, it's simply a Confused Noise. That's
what I say."
"I see what Eeyore means," said Owl. "If you ask me --"
"I'm not asking anybody," said Eeyore. "I'm just
telling everybody. We can look for the North Pole, or we can
play 'Here we go gathering Nuts and May' with the end part of
an ants' nest. It's all the same to me."
There was a shout from the top of the line.
"Come on!" called Christopher Robin.
"Come on!" called Owl.
"We're starting," said Rabbit. "I must go." And he
hurried off to the front of the Expotition with Christopher
Robin.
"All right," said Eeyore. "We're going. Only Don't
Blame Me."
So off they all went to discover the Pole. And as they
walked, they chattered to each other of this and that, all
except Pooh, who was making up a song.
"This is the first verse," he said to Piglet, when he
was ready with it.
"First verse of what?"
"My song."
"What song?"
"This one."
"Which one?"
"Well, if you listen, Piglet, you'll hear it."
"How do you know I'm not listening?" Pooh couldn't
answer that one, so he began to sing.
They all went off to discover the Pole,
Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all;
It's a Thing you Discover, as I've been tole
By Owl and Piglet and Rabbit and all.
Eeyore, Christopher Robin and Pooh
And Rabbit's relations all went too --
And where the Pole was none of them knew....
Sing Hey! for Owl and Rabbit and all!
"Hush!" said Christopher Robin turning round to Pooh,
"we're just coming to a Dangerous Place."
"Hush!" said Pooh turning round quickly to Piglet.
"Hush!" said Piglet to Kanga.
"Hush!" said Kanga to Owl, while Roo said
"Hush!" several times to himself, very quietly.
"Hush!" said Owl to Eeyore.
"Hush!" said Eeyore in a terrible voice to all Rabbit's
friends-and-relations, and "Hush!" they said hastily to each
other all down the line, until it got to the last one of all.
And the last and smallest friend-and-relation was so upset to
find that the whole Expotition was saying "Hush!" to him, that
he buried himself head downwards in a crack in the ground, and
stayed there for two days until the danger was over, and then
went home in a great hurry, and lived quietly with his Aunt
ever-afterwards. His name was Alexander Beetle.
They had come to a stream which twisted and tumbled
between high rocky banks, and Christopher Robin saw at once how
dangerous it was.
"It's just the place," he explained, "for an Ambush."
"What sort of bush?" whispered Pooh to Piglet. "A
gorse-bush?"
"My dear Pooh," said Owl in his superior way, "don't
you know what an Ambush is?"
"Owl," said Piglet, looking round at him severely,
"Pooh's whisper was a perfectly private whisper, and there was
no need — "
"An Ambush," said Owl, "is a sort of Surprise."
"So is a gorse-bush sometimes," said Pooh.
"An Ambush, as I was about to explain to Pooh," said
Piglet, "is a sort of Surprise."
"If people jump out at you suddenly, that's an Ambush,"
said Owl.
"It's an Ambush, Pooh, when people jump at you
suddenly," explained Piglet.
Pooh, who now knew wh...